And actually the past year has made a big difference for me too. For the first September in a long time, I don't feel those nerves and emotions about my little man's next big step. First it was starting preschool, then starting school, and then a ton of emotions revolving around him no longer being a baby in the school as he started Year 1. But this year...? I think it really is just part of his life now. A big part, and a part that he loves. So it's hard to approach with anything other than his spades of enthusiasm.
I am of course still devastated to say goodbye to the summer holidays. It's been so lovely to have him at home; to enjoy so many more fascinating chats with, to enjoy so many afternoon snuggles with. And his sisters have loved having him around too.
In fact thats something that I still find hard about school, but which I feel like I've finally accepted... how much of them you lose. I hate that. They are never ever really yours in the same way once they go to school. They have conversations and ideas and plans and friends which have nothing whatsoever to do with their old parents. And that does still pull at the heart strings a bit. I do miss those days when I felt like he was "mine". But I do really firmly believe that my children are not mine to keep; they are mine for little while, and then my job is to prepare them to move gradually away, to forge their own path.
And Dylan is forging that independent path so confidently now. Last year's teacher told me that she feels confident he'll be a scientist or mathematician of some kind, with his amazing memory and keen mind for facts about how everything works. He has a hundred different plans for his life. All of which he'd rock at. And all of which would require him to let go of his old mum's hand. I mean... I'm pretty sure that meteorologists don't have their mummy's sat helping them with their weather predictions and I'm almost certain that astronauts don't get a plus one. And that's okay. Because I get to hear all about the adventures along the way. Sure it's not the same as being right there alongside him, but they aren't my adventures to have, they are his.
But can someone remind me that I said that when his little sister starts school next week... or when he goes off to secondary school in a few years time?!?!?!?
I have no doubts about this boy and Year 2. I am sure he'll love it, and that he'll blossom more, make more friends, learn more things, and make more memories along the way.
Go rock the last year as an infant little man.
We already know you're a star, so just keep on shining.
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