three weeks with three

It seemed like all the people with three children that I spoke to while I was pregnant fell into two camps; those who told me the third one was a total breeze who slotted right in, and those who told me the third one turned their lives upside down and that it felt like a really big change. And honestly, I was more than a little apprehensive about the possibility of our boat being rocked too much... life as a four had always been pretty easy, and were we biting off more than we could chew, especially considering that our older two aren't exactly old themselves at only 3 and 4 years old. I was intrigued to see which of the two camps we would fall into; would it all go smoothly, or be utterly crazy. I know which one I was crossing my fingers for!

So I thought that I would talk a bit about how life with three has been these past three weeks. Yes, it's still very early days in this whole 'juggling three children adventure' for us, but I want to get all these thoughts down before it all inevitably changes again (as these things so often do where children are concerned.)

So far... life with three... has been completely, utterly, totally amazing. And it hasn't been anywhere near as crazy, hard or chaotic as I was preparing myself for. I think maybe thats the key, and to anyone currently expecting their third and having all those worries I did; if you prepare yourself for chaos on a biblical scale, then you can only be pleasantly surprised or at the very least not unprepared.

I worried about how my older two would take to their younger sibling; which was totally needless. They adore her, possibly a little bit too much. They want to see her, cuddle her, talk to her, include her in everything... even when she is napping, or feeding. Yes, we do still have to remind them on occasion about "using gentle hands" but we still have to remind them about that with regards to one another on occasion. And I would rather have them totally bombing her with love from sunrise until sunset than have them resent her or dislike her.

I'm not sure why it came as a surprise to me, given that I watched that sibling bond grow before, but it blows me away how incredibly protective and possessive of her they are. They love to show her off to anyone and everyone who will listen, but any one who gives her a cuddle is also reminded regularly that she is our baby and she has to come home with us. They want to be involved in every step of everything associated with their baby sister; nappy change time and they are there to pull faces at her and put the dirty nappies in the bin, bath time and they are there to sing songs and splash toys, feeding time and they want to sit right next to her and I so they can tell her to "open wide" and watch her feed while stroking her hair. In short, they dote on her. Worrying about them was completely needless.

I worried about the sleepless nights and the struggle to get in a routine. Not least because we have school and preschool runs to contend with now, so a bad night with the baby can't be followed by a lazy morning in bed in our pyjamas to recover. Now this probably won't be the same for every third one, but we have been blessed with a baby who loves her sleep. So for now, we're making this all work pretty well. The reality is that our existing routine helps I think. Because we have to be places at specific times, she simply has to fit in with that. I'm realistic, and I know things change a lot in the earliest months, but for the time being at least, we're getting the same amount of sleep we did before and that makes everything else easier to manage because we aren't dealing with the haze that is sleep deprivation.

I worried about splitting my time between the three. I had visions of my older ones feeling neglected, or me barely getting time to sit and enjoy those newborn snuggles. And in truth, I think mummy guilt hits hardest when you have a new baby and older ones to look after. But I think that transition has been easier this time than last; because my biggest two are already used to having to share me with the other, and they have each other to play with when I'm tied up with the baby. We haven't seen so much as a whiff of jealousy, and I don't feel like anyone is being sold short on their one-to-one time. I do feel like school and preschool have helped a lot with this, because three mornings a week I get undisturbed baby time, she sleeps in later in the morning than the older ones, so they get plenty of attention and time then. Our biggest girly gets a bit of extra mummy time on her mornings off preschool when the baby has a sleep. And our big boy takes advantage of nap time at weekends when both girls go for a sleep and he gets both the grown ups to himself. 

We are lucky... I know we are lucky. Because most newborns wake up a lot more at night time than the one we up that our little lady does. And she really is the most chilled, contented little baby I've ever known. She's the baby jackpot. And I am so so grateful for that, because she has made the transitions easier for everyone. Things will change and our routines will no doubt adapt, but for now her temperament has made it a smooth introduction to life as a five for all of us. 

Mostly, I worried about how the jump from two to three was going to feel massive. Two parents, two arms to cuddle, two hands to hold... it all works pretty tidily with two children. And the idea of being suddenly outnumbered by children was a bit scary. The days of divide and conquer are officially over. And that definitely felt like it was going to push us pretty far out of a very comfortable comfort zone.

But actually it hasn't felt like a jump at all. I don't remember finding the jump from one to two that hard, but looking back now, it was definitely harder than the jump from two to three has been. To borrow that cliche from many parents of three who have gone before me... "she's just slotted in". Yes, there are moments when I'm not really sure who to deal with first, and it definitely takes longer to get out of the door and a certain amount of military style organisation. But honestly, I still think the jump from none to one was the hardest of all. And I would do it all again for how lovely it feels to have another member of Team Roberts.