Relationships change over time
from the initial butterflies and romance,
to a more comfortable and safe thing
where you can happily exist alongside one another.
But I think the foundation of our relationship,
the thing that has remained throughout,
is that we are best friends.
We spent a large proportion of the earlier times in our relationship
sustaining our bond with phone calls alone,
with weekend visits for a couple of days as and when we could afford it.
During that time we had to get really good at talking to one another,
and as a result we really cherished the time we got to be together.
Now that those days seem like a long time ago,
its really easy to forget how much those long distance days made us grow as people
and realise that we'd found the right person in each other.
We are often guilty of not properly talking for days on end now,
not asking each other the tough questions,
the simple questions,
or worse not listening to the other's answer
and not fully enjoying the little moments in our shared lives.
But a few weeks back I had a big birthday,
and my husband went all out;
planning a surprise weekend for the two of us in London.
And it was just the kind of reconnection we needed.
I was actually a little worried
that we wouldn't know how to spend such a long time
with only each other for company
and no children to talk to and entertain.
It's been such a long time since it was just us.
What did we used to talk about?
And I honestly couldn't tell you what we talked about for those two days in London...
...But we talked a lot.
The entire time practically
(except when we went to see a west end show
- I kind of think they frown on that kind of thing)
we just talked about everything and nothing.
About the children of course,
but also about what we love,
what we feel passionately about,
we watched the world go by,
people watching
and laughing at the big characters that London is always full of.
And while I had been sure I would be desperate to get back and see the children
I actually didn't want that time with just the two of us to end.
It was good for us to remember all those things we love to do together,
to just be husband and wife for a bit,
and not Daddy and Mummy.
And to remember that investing time in us matters,
because while the children are the centre of our world,
we are the centre of our family,
and we are what will be left
when the babies fly the nest.
And we want to have set a good example for our children to follow.
