being in the memories

I have always taken a lot of photographs

and becoming a mother for the first time 

(shortly after buying a DSLR)

just made that obsession with photo taking even greater.

Mothers grab at memories,

they try to remember every detail of their growing children,

cataloguing every milestone,

desperate to record their babies

as the moments and the time speed by

like sand through their fingers.

Since my beautiful boy was born

his days and his experiences have been photographed.

And the same can be said for my beautiful girl

although her life is recorded 

in the minutest of details

from before she was even born.

Photographing my children gives me a huge amount of joy.

I somehow feel like it makes their growing older a little easier,

because as much as I relish in seeing them grow and learn,

it can be bittersweet at times.

Your children race forwards

and you lag behind,

wishing the time would just slow down a little.

And so we snap and snap and snap,

collecting photos and memories of our babies

to help us remember forever.

As 2012 drew to a close

- an amazing year which had seen us become a four - 

I flicked through photos,

remembering the changes,

the special days we'd had,

the milestone moments,

and looking at how my family had changed.

And I found that someone was missing from the majority of these photos,

these precious memories of my baby's earliest times;

and that missing person was me.

I know exactly why I wasn't in the photos.

I was taking the photos.

But at no point had it crossed my mind to pass the camera to someone else.

And if it had come into my thoughts, I hadn't asked.

The sad reality is that I didn't want to get in the pictures because I didn't want to ruin the shot.

We all see our own flaws as if they are under a microscope,

and the camera seems to hold a light up to those.

My children look like perfection to me,

both in real life and through a lens.

Me on the other hand,

I was carrying a bit of baby weight,

the post-pregnancy hair loss had left me with a lacklustre do,

I smile a bit crazily sometimes,

and my face looks far wonkier in photos that it does in the mirror.

The photos were far nicer when it was me behind the lens

and my lovely bubbas in front of it.

I'm not sure why,

but I suddenly had visions of my children looking back at photos of their childhoods

and asking me what I'd looked like.

I know that one of the best bits of my own baby photos

is seeing my mum and dad look so young, so different.

My parents look flawless in those photos from my childhood,

I'm sure they both had their own hang ups at the time,

but all I see are their smiling faces,

their pride in their family,

their youth, their dated clothes, the crazy decor.

And I want that for my children.

I want them to laugh at how we all looked,

to mock our clothes and hair

and giggle at young and skinny we were.

So I decided that my resolution for 2013

was to get in the photos more,

to be present in the memories

and not just the person recording them.

I wanted to get a photo of the four of us together each month.

This idea gave birth to the Me & Mine project,

and the commitment of saying I'll blog a monthly family portrait,

gave me the kick I needed to make sure I followed through.

If anything I've gone overboard on the whole

"lets get a photo of us all together" thing this year

and I've taken far, far more than one a month.

I plan opportunities now to get in the photos,

to grab my beautiful children

and get it recorded just how proud I am that they're mine.

And I genuinely couldn't be happier about it.

Don't get me wrong,

if I look hard enough I still see the flaws.

I smile far to widely sometimes and look a bit crazy,

I'm still carrying baby weight,

and I'm sure I look a bit more tired and wrinkly than I did this time last year,

but somewhere along the line my mindset changed.

I don't see those flaws first anymore,

I see what I hope my children will see in years to come;

us as a young family,

full of love and having fun together.

We do an okay job grabbing Me & Mine photos each month.

Sometimes it's a tripod and remote job,

more often than not it's a case of smiling nicely at my mum or dad,

and handing them my camera

and trying to direct them while also looking relaxed and natural in the photos.

I love the shots I've got each month

but I really wanted to get some real, genuine "us as we really are" photos.

And the only way I was really going to get those sorts of photos

was going to be by booking a professional and leaving my own camera at home.

And I really couldn't be more thrilled with the results,

of totally relinquishing control and letting a professional do the hard work.

We played together,

we ticked the children,

we chased each other,

we laughed a lot,

and I let someone else be responsible for getting the shot.

If you have ever, even for a moment, considered booking a family photo shoot;

DO IT!

You won't ever regret getting pictures of your family.

And if you can't do that,

use your camera's self timer,

buy a remote,

or squish in close and take a selfie.

But for goodness sake get in the photos with your babies.

Because your kids won't notice your double chin,

they'll see someone they love.

And your children will thank-you for it.

All photos in this post were taken by Natalie of Erin May Photography.