the best mummy i can be

I don't think I'm alone in wanting to always do the best for my children.

I think all mothers harbour ideas of being a super mum;

who looks fantastic,

has well behaved and well turned out children,

who simultaneously juggles providing engaging and educational activities,

while baking a cake,

keeping an immaculate house,

and making sure her children feel completely self confident, listened to and loved.

I will put my hands up and say right now,

that I fail.

On all of these things.

It doesn't make me a failure

but I can't do it all, all the time.

The truth is that I don't think anyone can.

But I can do my very best.

I can prioritise

and when it comes down to it

that last thing on the list

about my children's well being,

well that one is always at the very top of my to do list.

But even then I don't alway do the best job.

There are days when I put the children to bed

and think "I ignored you more than I would like today"

or "I was grumpy with you more that I would like today"

or "I don't think I really gave you enough of my time today"

or "I wish I'd really played with you today".

Personally, I find the summer makes me a better mummy.

Or maybe that should be, it makes me less of a lazy mummy.

I like to seize sunny days with both hands

so I make sure our sunshiny days are full of adventures.

Picnics, walks, trips to the park, trips to the beach, water play, ice creams.

Not necessarily glamourous or exciting adventures

but adventures just the same.

And I never ever ever regret putting in an extra effort to making something especially fun for my children.

So when I decided a break from the heat

and an afternoon indoors was needed,

I also decided to be the bestest mummy ever

and while my children napped, I made a den in our lounge as a surprise.

I have fond memories of den building as a child

and it's definitely an activity I will be encouraging when my babies are big enough.

But for now they had to make do with a mummy made den;

a light and airy canopy

above a bed of cushions,

full of books to read

and light streaming in the window.

The plan has been that the den would entertain them

while I could get on with some other things,

like sorting some laundry and clearing our dining room table of random rubbish.

But seeing the looks on their faces when they woke up,

hearing "Mummy, look. It's just like a tent"

I decided to forget the juggling

and to just enjoy my children.

I got in the den and played with them,

we had cuddles,

we tickled each other,

we sang songs,

we played doctors,

we looked at books.

But mostly I watched them.

I watched my children play

and decided not to feel guilty about the juggling I could be doing.

I watched my beautiful girl's eyes light up 

as she watched her brother play peekaboo through the sides of the den,

I saw my beautiful boy giddy with excitement

as he explored his new den.

I heard their laughter.

I witnessed their enjoyment at simply being together

and experiencing something completely new.

I had the pleasure of seeing them smiling together 

and giggling together 

and cuddling each other with the sheer excitement of it.

And I felt like a good mummy.

I had put in the extra effort

to be a good mummy.

I was aglow all afternoon,

knowing that if I achieved nothing else

then I had made my children's day.

And I know they loved me for it.