an example

Having your first baby can be tough on your relationship.

You're both tired, consumed by love for this little person you made,

and you are both learning new jobs; mummy and daddy.

And when you have two children it's tougher still,

because divide and conquer wins the day,

so it often seems like one or other of you is always wrangling one or both children, 

and the fact that neither of you seems to get a seconds break throughout the day,

means that you all into a crumpled, exhausted heap on the sofa 

when your little people are finally in bed.

Being parents together brings you together in a way that nothing else could,

but it also absorbs your time and energies in a way that nothing else could.

But I've been thinking a lot lately about the example that we set.

We owe our children a strong and healthy relationship to look up to.

Our children will grow up perceiving our relationship, our marriage as the norm.

They may, possibly, maybe, one day look at how our example made them feel when they are picking their own partners.

And of course we want the best for our children

and that includes wanting them to pick the best people to spend their lives with.

We need to set our children a good example when it comes to love and relationships.

We have always tried to make the effort to have "technology off" nights

where we cook a quick dinner and leave the iPhones and iPads out of reach,

we talk, we sit together and we might what a film or share icecream.

We reconnect and remember why we chose this path in the first place;

why we chose each other,

why we chose marriage,

why we chose to have a family;

because we love each other.

Before we were "mummy and daddy",

we were "wifey and hubby"

and before that "girlfriend and boyfriend".

But like most things in life, 

we can get wrapped up in our present,

in our current roles,

and forget what came before.

And what came before is important,

because its what we go back to being when the children aren't around,

and because it's what brought us those children in the first place.

Date nights haven't been so easy since we have had a beautiful boy AND a beautiful girl to fill our days with,

but I really think time together is important.

It's an investment really;

in our relationship,

in our family,

and in our future.

So this week while Daddy was off work,

he and Mummy dropped their babies off with Nanny for a bit.

He became "hubby" again.

I became "wifey" again. 

We went on a lunch date;

three courses at our favourite Mexican restaurant.

We talked about life;

work, home, the children and also just life.

We didn't rush;

instead we lingered and enjoyed.

We held hands;

across the table in the restaurant and walking the pavement outside.

We invested.

We set an example.