mummy of two

It still feels weird to think of myself as a mummy of two.

And two under two at that.

In so many ways it feels like I only just got my head around being a parent,

fullstop.

But now I have two little people relying on me,

looking to me for help and guidance and comfort.

It's an awesome responsibility

and an awesome privilege.

I wonder how long it will take for me to stop having those moments every now and again

where I suddenly go,

"These two perfect babies are mine. How did I get so lucky?"

It is of course a steep learning curve

getting used to parenting two instead of just one.

But I don't think it's as steep a curve as the one I went through when I brought home the beautiful boy.

Babies aren't scary this time;

changing nappies can be done at great speed now,

getting up wind is easy-peasy,

breastfeeding isn't new or as painful:

the logistics of being a parent to a newborn aren't unfamiliar this time.

. . . But the logistics of being a parent to a newborn and a toddler simultaneously are not so familiar.

Who do I deal with first?

How do you entertain the beautiful boy while I feed the beautiful girl?

What do I do with the beautiful girl when the beautiful boy is in the bath?

Why is it that the beautiful boy is at his most noisey when the beautiful girl is just going off to sleep?

Why does the beautiful girl have to have her wide awake time just around the beautiful boy's bedtime?

All questions I'll gradually find answers to, no doubt.

When I think back a couple weeks

to before she was born,

it really does seem funny how scared I was about loving my second baby enough.

I was so consumed with love for the beautiful boy

I just didn't think I could possibly replicate it.

But I adore the beautiful girl with all my heart.

And of course I don't love my little guy any less as a result,

just like having him didn't make me love my husband any less.

The love just multiplies and grows.

In a lot of ways I love my two boys more as a result of having the beautiful girl,

because seeing how tender and adoring my husband is with her

and watching the beautiful boy gently stroke her hair and smile at her

just totally melts my heart.

The love isn't the only thing that multiplies,

I'm also carrying around a ton more of the mummy guilt.

I'm not spending as much time playing with the little guy as I would like to,

nor am I spending as much time staring adoringly at the little lady as I would like.

I have to say that it is only me making myself feel like this

as both my children seem very happy and chilled.

The beautiful girl seems happy to nap in her chair while I play cars and sing nursery rhymes,

and the beautiful boy is more than happy playing alone, or with Daddy, or watching television for a bit while I have baby cuddles.

Our little lady just fits right in

and our little man has taken to his new role as a big brother like he was born to do it.

But I guess the guilt of trying to split your time equally is just part of the fun of being a mummy to two.

I'm sure there will be inevitable trials and tribulations with caring for two children,

and I don't think for a second that it will ever be quite as easy again as it was with one.

But then if you wanted an easy life you wouldn't have children at all.

It's is more work with two, but it's not double the work,

and it is more than double the enjoyment.

Not only do I get to enjoy loving my beautiful boy

and enjoy loving my beautiful girl,

I also get to enjoy watching them love each other.

I'm not sure it's love between them just yet,

but I know it will be,

and watching that relationship and bond grow is a beautiful thing.