fleeting moments

I have no doubt that I am more chilled out as a mummy of a newborn this time around.

I hate to hear her cry but I don't frantically jump up at the slightest whimper.

I'm more relaxed about the advice I'm given because I have some experience of my own to call on.

But I think the main reason I'm so much more chilled this time is
because I know how temporary it all is;
how fleeting this first stage of life is;
how quickly it is over and long forgotten.

When you are in the midst of trying to calm a distraught newborn
it feels like the end of the world,

but it ends.

And before you know it you have a chilled out toddler
who rarely cries because they can communicate with you.

When you are in the first few days of breastfeeding and it kills

and you feel like you are constantly tied to the sofa with a baby attached to you,

it can feel suffocating to be so needed.

But then before you know it it's as easy as breathing,
and as quickly again it's all over,

and if you're anything like me,

you find yourself missing it a bit.

When you are getting up at night to feed a crying baby,
and are practically asleep on your feet,
it feels like forever since you last had a proper night of sleep.
But it doesn't last forever.

Broken sleep and night feeds feel like torture,

that distressed newborn cry is heartbreaking,
growth spurts and trapped wind send you into a tail spin,

the fragility of that tiny baby is terrifying

but they don't last.

None of it does,

and this time around I am so much more aware of how fleeting these newborn days are.

The nature of being a parent is all so temporary.

Everything changes so quickly

and you move on

and you forget.

Looking after the beautiful girl

brings back a lot of memories and nostalgia from when I first had the beautiful boy.

The way their newborn skin is so perfect and soft,

the smell of sweet milky baby breath,

the tiny nappies,

the dinky babygrows . . .

Memories of my big boy as a baby have all come flooding back

and I've realised just how much he has changed

and how fast those first days and weeks and months flew by.

So however stressful having a new baby might seem at times

I know that its all temporary

and that it all changes in the blink of an eye.

I know that the difficulties get easier,

and new difficulties pop up in their place.
And that makes it a whole lot easier to be chilled out
about the trial and tribulations of having a newborn,
because she simply won't be a newborn forever.

I know that however daunting it is to be a mummy sometimes,

that in what seems like a matter of minutes

I will have a toddling girl

and a fully fledged little boy on my hands.

And as much as I can't wait to see that,

I'm also happy to enjoy this moment in time,

these fleeting moments

of being a newborn family,

however tricky,

because it's all part of the journey.

And I know that the journey doesn't hang around.