three

There are three in our family,

in our team.

We are unbeatable threesome built on instincts and knowledge and love.

We understand each other and we get each other.

We love being together

for the big things

and the little things.

And our three will soon become a four.

And lately I think that we've been finding that concept really, really scary.

This whole 'three' thing works for us.

Being a family of three is pretty effortless these days.

Rocking the boat by adding a crew member seems daunting and unfamiliar.

These last weeks of pregnancy go by notoriously slowly

as discomfort sets in and sleep becomes difficult.

You count down the time left and wish the days away 

waiting for your new bundle to hurry up and join you already.

And I am full of all those feelings;

impatience is kicking in and I want to meet the little character who has been kicking my ribs

and poking their brother when he comes for a cuddle.

I love growing a baby

but I'm ready to not be pregnant now.

I'm looking forward to being able to have a proper hug with my husband without a big bump in the way.

I'm looking forward to being able to climb stairs without feeling like I may pass out.

I'm looking forward to making my family a four.

I think knowing that things are about to change so much

makes you sit back and see what you already have.

I can remember when I was pregnant last time

having fears that we were about to ruin a pretty perfect existence by having a a baby.

It seems insane to think about it now,

but there were times when I thought that nothing could possibly make out lives any better

and that the sleepless nights and stress that a baby would bring

were going to spoil our lovely newly wedded bliss,

mess up our lovely home,

and upset our precious little fluffy babies.

Of course as soon as I met the beautiful boy I knew how wrong those thoughts had been,

because it just seemed like with every new thing he touched

he made our world even more perfect.

So I keep reminding myself that we aren't breaking up our team,

we aren't ruining or spoiling something which we think of as perfect;

we are adding to it.

We are gaining a team mate.

Another person will be part of our team and our family.

Someone else will be part of the awesomeness that is our family.

They will be part of the instincts and knowledge and love that makes our family work.

But I won't be wishing the days away.

Because as much as there are some exciting and wonderful things coming out way,

as much as I cannot wait to be cuddling a newborn again with that delicious smell they have,

as much as I'm looking forward to not being pregnant,

and as much as I cannot wait to introduce my beautiful boy to his baby brother or sister,

I can completely wait for this new chapter to begin

because I'm still so head over heels in love with this chapter.