the bittersweets

I recently dug out my beautiful boy's first ever outfit,

the one he wore on his first full day in the world.

I wanted to find it so that we could use it as Splodge's first outfit.

Something about the symmetry of having our children wear the same first outfit really appeals to me.

I like the idea that an outfit bought for Dollop will also be worn by Splodge,

and by any potential babies that might come after.

I have to say that it's bittersweet to have that little babygrow out of storage

and back in the nursery again.

I'm excited to be expecting another tiny little person small enough to wear it,

but seeing it is a reminder of just how small our beautiful boy once was

and just how much he has grown and changed.

I remember holding that outfit up to my bump.

I remember washing it, and folding it, and putting it in the drawer as we eagerly anticipated the arrival of out first born.

I remember opening that drawer several times a day just to look at the tiny clothes

and to try and imagine what it would be like to have a person in our home who fitted in them.

I remember the day I packed my hospital bag

and chose that outfit with its matching hat

as the one we'd bring our newborn baby home in.

I remember the slightly melancholy day that I packed it away with the other newborn babygrows

that my growing boy had since grown out of.

We've had many days of packing away clothes since

and while it doesn't make me quite as emotional these days,

there are still outfits and items of clothing which make my insides ache a little,

to think that my baby is growing up so fast.

It's exhilarating getting to watch a beautiful newborn, 

grow into a bouncing baby 

and then into a little boy.

It's makes me really happy to think that some of those precious little outfits
might get another little person wearing them;
those dinky little white babygrows and vests especially.
The excitement they brought us when we were expecting last time
genuinely doesn't seem diminished over time,
they are just as small,
just as cute
and possibly even more special because they have already belonged to our beautiful baby boy.

I love that this new little bundle will come home from hospital
in the same outfit that their big brother did.
Now I just have to get my head around the idea
that my baby boy
will be a big brother.