plus one

It's a difficult decision when you decide to add another child to your family.

We had some definite ideas before we even had the beautiful boy

as to what size age gap we might like

and how we'd like thing to pan out for our little family,

in an ideal world anyway.

But I have to admit that the reality of it

is slightly different than those dreamy plans you make when you are just a family of two.

I feel like our decision to have a baby the first time around was quite a romantic decision.

We were in love,

we were married,

we had our own home,

we had two kittens that we treated like our babies.

We knew that we wanted to be youngish parents,

so why wait?

It was lovely and idyllic and perfect,

and adding a baby to that would make it even more so.

I think the decision to add number two is a lot less romantic.

For a start you have an additional person to think about,

and it wasn't just a decision between my husband and I

about what best suited us.

It also was a decision that was being made on behalf of our son.

Getting a sibling is a life changing event

and all of a sudden the parental guilt kicks in.

That little person has been the centre of your universe

and they will suddenly have to share that spot with another person.

And then there is the issue of 'the age gap'.

I don't believe there is a perfect age gap,

I really think its different from one family to the next

and it also completely depends on the children as to whether it's right or not.

But most people do have some preconceived ideas about the age gaps they might like to have.

We had always wanted a smaller age gap

of around eighteen months,

but had said we would see when Dollop came along

as to how we would cope with one

before deciding to have two.

Well, the beautiful boy is a little dream.

He is genuinely the most chilled out and contented child I've ever met.

And in all honesty I couldn't tell you the last time he cried.

He loves his own company and will play happily for hours with his toys

and I really think he'll take having a younger sibling in his stride.

Well as much as we could hope anyway.

The other thing with second babies

is that you are more aware of what you are letting yourself in for,

and so your approach is slightly different.

I had a friend put off trying because she had a cruise booked and knew that her morning sickness plus the boat would absolutely ruin her holiday if she was any earlier than 14 weeks.

Two friends are currently putting off trying for babies as they don't want number two to have a birthday too close to Christmas or to their existing child's birthday.

There is a definitely element of making the second time fit more with what suits you as a family.

It's not that it's any less exciting,

but I think you are just a little more prepared for the upheaval

and you adapt your plans accordingly.

I know that not everyone gets the luxury of such forward planning for whatever reason,

and I feel very lucky that things seem to have worked out for us really well so far.

But I kind of feel like both times we didn't have to 'make a decision' as such,

it just felt like the right thing at the right time.

I was broody for another almost instantly after our son was born,

but we just knew it wasn't quite the right time.

And then suddenly it was,

I'm not sure what changed but it was something we both just knew in our guts.

Fortunately for us Mother Nature agreed

and we couldn't be more over the moon about it.