love and marriage

I love marriage.

I'm a real advocate of it.

And I read something recently that really got me thinking about marriage.

I don't agree with the comments bandied around by many,

that marriage changes nothing.

Because despite being with my lovely man for more than five years
by the time we got married,

and living with him for three of those,

It did change things.

I didn't expect it to.
By the time we got married

I thought that we knew all there was to know about one another,

all the horrible habits,

the silly things that make each other smile.

And while we did know each other really well,

we didn't know what each other was like as a husband or a wife.

And we changed in our new roles.

Something about us being married to one another

meant that we felt like we really 'belonged'

both with each other and to each other.

Being married gave us a bond,

a special connection,

which was later strengthened by bringing a child into the world together.

I still to this day get so much of a kick
from hearing my husband refer to me as his wife.
Is that weird?
I just love to hear him say it;
like it makes me really his.

There is something incredibly safe and comforting and wonderful

about being married to someone.

Knowing that you will always be there to support another person,

as they will be there for you in return,

that somebody in the world is really rooting for you to be happy,

that somebody finds you beautiful when you are at your very worst,

that you will get to share all of life's greatest joys and greatest sorrows with one person,

and that that person will hold your hand through it all
and know just the right words to say

or when not to say anything at all.

Adding a baby to your family obviously changes things again.

You have less time to dedicate to one another,

you are tired and stressed and more than a bit terrified of screwing up,

but for us it also meant that we were sharing something unique and special to us.

Life often gets in the way of sitting back and appreciating what you have,

and my husband will be the first to admit
that he is pretty useless at doing anything that might be considered romantic,

but in a way,
that makes the small acts of kindness more significant.

Like making your husband's day by actually making the dinner one night,

or sending a text that says you love your wife and that you miss her,

or just telling someone that they are beautiful,
that you love them
and that they make you happy every single day.

The article that I read got me thinking
about the value of those small acts of kindness
and how they keep a marriage happy and keep the love alive.
But it also made me think about how fragile life can be,
how quickly it is gone,
and about the legacy that you leave behind.

I know that I will be a happy lady if I have left a legacy of love and happiness behind me.
If I do nothing else in my time on this earth
I would really like to know that I made a few, very special people feel loved,
that I have made my family happy and proud
and that my husband knows how happy he has made me
and that I am glad every day single day
that I am the girl that got to be his wife.