changes

Changes

What major (or minor) changes 

have happened to you this year 

that have made a difference in your life?

I can't help thinking that this BritMums prompt 

might have resulted in a shorter answer

if it had been 'what hasn't changed in your life this year?'

Because we've seen quite a few changes in this past year.

We sold my beloved Mini Cooper and replaced it with a C-Max.

Yes, we have a grown-up family car.

You know you're a grown up when you have tray tables.

I was pregnant; with a bump all full of baby and expectations. 

And now I'm a mummy; all full of love.

My hubby has left his old job, 

a job he only took in the first place so that we could move in together. 

And now he's started on a new career path.

We have gone from a two-wage family; 

to a one-and-a-half wage family; 

to a one wage family.

It's definitely been a year of changes for us.

And I've saved the biggest and best change until last.

We became a family this year.

And when I think about all happiness that has brought us

all the other changes pale in comparison.

The little guy has changed in spades in the last year;

from a black and white blob on a screen,

to a tiny, fragile little baby

to a funny, cheeky little boy.

But as well as his changes

becoming parents is the biggest change to ever happen to us.

It's changed us as individuals

and it's changed our relationship

It's been the biggest challenge.

But with the very best rewards too.

It isn't easy when your baby cries in the middle of the night

and you look at each other in complete confusion and desperation,

hoping that the other has the secret answer that will make the crying stop.

It isn't easy when you look at your exhausted wife

who needs sleep more than anything else

and you know that she'll have to get up with the baby

because breastfeeding means that you can't offer what's needed.

It isn't easy when you've been at home with a baby all day

and that baby has refused to nap

and you haven't managed to make yourself a drink or any food in all that time.

It isn't easy when you have to go to work all day

and leave your little boy at home.

It isn't easy trying to get yourself and a newborn baby

up, dressed, ready for the day

and out of the house for a 9 o'clock doctors appointment.

It isn't easy getting up early for work

and having to be completely silent

for fear of waking the baby

and worse, incurring the wrath of your wife.

It isn't easy to put a pram in the car boot while it's raining

and to get a crying baby strapped into a car seat

when somebody has parked their car to close to yours

and all the parent and child space have been taken by people with 14 year old children.

No, parenting isn't without it's challenges.

And that changes you.

You become a unit.

You belong together

because you want the exact same things.

But the joy on your child's face when he sees you,

the smiles,

the laughter,

the cuddles,

the love that you give him

and get back from him.

They are what make you realise 

that becoming a parent 

is the very best change you could ever go through.

We made that lovely little person.

He is ours.

And we are his.

But actually, in reality,

I suppose

we belong to him more than he will ever belong to us.

If we do our jobs right

he'll grow up and go his own way in life,

make his own changes,

face his own challenges

and earn his own rewards.

But one thing won't change,

he'll have our hearts.