wishing and hoping and dreaming

Looking into a newborn babies eyes

you cannot help but feel hope.

I know that I had dreamed of becoming a mum 

for as long as I could remember.

For me, those little newborn eyes,

looking around the world for the very first time,

were my very own dream come true.

And there is definitely something about the innocence of babies,

the purity,

the trust,

the completely clean slate that they are,

that makes you want everything to be fresh and new.

They put everything into perspective.

They make the world seem small.

Things that mattered before, don't.

But by the same token

things that scared you before, are now absolutely terrifying.

Having the little guy

and becoming a mummy

has definitely put my life into perspective.

I loved my job.

I lived for my job.

It excited me,

I enjoyed it,

I felt like I was valued.

I made a difference.

But that changed.

The job of being a mummy

gives me a hundred times more joy.

I love my job,

I live for my job,

It excites me.

I enjoy it

I feel valued.

I make a difference.

And I appreciate the smaller things in life.

A walk in the park

and a cuddle in front of the television

are now so much better than

a day out shopping

followed by dinner and a movie.

I harbour no other ambitions

than to be an awesome mummy.

The very best mummy that I can be.

A mummy who is kind and fun.

Who is firm but fair.

Who builds dens,

and bakes cakes

and reads stories with all the voices.

Before he came along I had lots of hopes for my unborn child.

I wanted my unborn baby to be bright,

to go to university,

to have a good job.

I wanted my unborn baby to live in a lovely house,

with everything they could ever need,

and go on exciting holidays and wonderful adventure.

But when I looked into those newborn eyes

none of that mattered any more.

I can honestly say,

with my hand on my heart,

that I want only one thing for my son

and for me,

happiness.

If he's bright, that's great.

If he's not, I'll help him to find a place where he can shine.

If he goes to university, then fine.

If he doesn't, then that's fine too.

If he has a good job that pays him well, that's fantastic.

But I would much rather that his job fulfilled him and made him happy.

I found it easier to find faults with things before,

but we have a lovely home,

we are healthy,

we have fantastic family,

we have lovely friends,

we have fun together,

we are happy.

And long may it continue.

I want my son to know that we will always support his choices,

that he can make mistakes and come running back to us,

that he can explore and go out into the big wide world

but that there is always a home for him,

and that two people love him more than anything else in the whole wide world.

I don't care where we live

what we have

where we go

as long as we're together

and we're happy

then we are richer than we would ever wish or hope or dream to be.

This was written in response
to the BritMums Blogging Prompt