it's the end of an era

I'm feeling sort of nostalgic today about my little man's life so far.

And a bit melancholy 

There is a really good reason.

Tomorrow, he will turn six months old exactly.

And I can't really believe where half a year went.

I can't believe how much he has changed in that time.

How much he has changed me.

And hubby.

But none of that makes me feel so melancholy.

That makes me extremely happy.

We've come so far from those early days.

When hubby and I probably looked like rabbits caught in the headlights.

It felt a little like we were "playing" at being a family.

We were guessing at everything.

And getting things wrong.

But now we just get on with it.

We all know each other,

and we're getting to know what works for us.

No, the reason for my melancholy

isn't the passing of time.

It's the fact that time passing means that things have to change.

As from tomorrow,

my beautiful little guy

will no longer be exclusively breastfed.

It's strange how emotive the breastfeeding topic always ends up being.

When I was pregnant I didn't necessarily have strong feelings either way.

I wanted to give breastfeeding a shot,

but I was catergorically not going to beat myself up if it didn't work, 

or even if I just didn't like it.

I felt that bonding with my baby was the important part, 

not how he got fed.

Now I'm not saying I found breastfeeding completely easy.

In the early days I would wince when he woke up, 

knowing that I was going to have to endure the toe-curling pain again.

But in the scheme of things the little man and me have breezed through with this breastfeeding lark.

The reason we are going right up to his six month birthday before introducing solids 

is because, in the words of my health visitor, 

he is so obviously thriving without.

But it's time.

I know it's time.

I am excited about making up the baby foods.

I'm looking forward to seeing his face when he tries them.

But I'm a little bit sad that he doesn't only need me any more.

For nine months in my tummy and then six months out of it, 

I have been all he's needed.

But now he needs more.

I am so incredibly proud of myself.

Because I know that six months of exclusive breastfeeding is not something that many people manage.

It's been tough at times,

but I've loved it.

And it's not that I plan on giving it up any time in the near future.

It's just that today feels like the end of an era.

So I am determined to enjoy every feed today.

To enjoy the time it gives me with my little boy.

To enjoy being all he needs for one more day.