black and white

There have been a series of 'black and white moments' on the way to parenthood, 

moments when the enormity of being a mum have been very clear, 

right there in front of me, 

in black and white.

So I thought I would share those moments.

Black and White Moment 1

That very first 'I'm-going-to-be-a-mummy' moment. 

In all it's black and white glory.

It was, without doubt, the most bizarre day of my life.

We were away from home for a family wedding.

We'd only decided to start trying for a baby that month. . .

. . . and I was two days late.

But we could never have fallen that quickly, surely?

I spent the whole day walking round in a cloud.

Lots of the wedding guests hadn't seen us since our own wedding 10 months before.

We spent the whole day smiling politely as people asked us how long we would be waiting to start a family.

Little did they know.

It was still our little secret.

Black and White Moment 2

The moment when we first saw a little black and white image 

of our little Dollop.

That little thing on the screen was our baby.

And now we could finally tell the world about it.

I would never have thought it possible that I could treasure such a grainy, blurry black and white picture so much.

But that picture meant that we were really going to be parents.

Black and White Moment 3

It's funny to look back at this black and white picture 

from the second scan at twenty weeks.

Because, having now met our little baby in the flesh, 

it looks JUST like him.

By twenty weeks I had a cute little bump

but I was being asked almost daily whether I had felt the baby move yet

. . . I hadn't.

I was trying very hard to be cool and calm about it but I was so nervous in the waiting room before our second scan that I couldn't speak (and believe me, that is very out of character!)

But then, up popped our Dollop on the black and white screen

and all the worry disappeared.

There was our baby, wriggling away.

Black and White Moment 4

He really was mine.

His label said so.

In black and white.

He was my baby.

When we came home from the hospital, 

an elated mummy turned to a proud daddy and said: 

"If we take this label off, we can't take him back. 

Do we want to keep him?"

We both smiled as we cut.

Black and White Moment 5 

And after taking off his labels, came his receipt.

We went out to register his birth together. 

A little family outing.

We were ridiculously excited.

And it seemed very apt that the registrar that registered our sons birth 

was the same registrar who had registered our intent to marry nearly two years before.