birth

The obvious birth to 'gallery' when you have a son who is nearly six months old, is his.

His birth is so fresh in my mind.

So precious and special and life changing

But I'm not going to talk about his birth.

Maybe I'll do that another time.

I'm going to talk about my own.

Not my actual birth you understand.

My birth 

as a mummy.

It's hard to really pinpoint the moment that my birth as a mummy happened.

I know that I was ready for it long before it happened.

The change was a long and gradual one.

It may well have started the day I got engaged to his Daddy.

I was still doing my teacher training at the time.

I adore working with children.

Just being with kids everyday gives you a fresh perspective on life and the world.

They see things so beautifully.

Or it may have been the day I got married.

Becoming somebodies wife, for me, was the thing that came before being a mummy.

We even talked about being a family in our wedding vows.

And I chose to surround myself with children that day too.

Or it could have been when we went away on honeymoon.

We really felt like 'grown ups'.

Out in the world and meeting people who had never know us 

as anything other that Mr and Mrs.

As anything other than a family.

And because it was when we were on honeymoon

that we first talked about when we would like to start a family.

I think I really stepped the 'Mummying' up a gear

when we brought how The Fluffy Babies.

They were my first babies.

They were so small and adorable.

And they definitely knew I was their mummy.

Which felt really special.

The day we found out we were pregnant

was, by far,

the most surreal day of my life.

Could this really be happening for us?

I nurtured that bump like my life depended on it.

I ate more fruit and veg and drank more water than ever before.

I cuddled and stroked it constantly.

I. WAS. GROWING. A. REAL. HUMAN. BABY.

. . . And then he was here.

And I was really somebody's Mummy.

And I felt so ready.

The very second I held him, I knew.

I'd been waiting my whole life to meet this little person.

I have never been so proud of myself.

I had helped make him.

I had grown him in my belly.

I was still helping him to grow, everyday.

I have never felt so completely happy in my own skin.

The body which I'd always had various hang-ups about,

was doing what it was supposed to do.

I didn't care if it wobbled in new places now,

or hurt in new ways I hadn't thought possible.

It had made that beautiful boy.

I know I have been lucky

to have found my transition into mummyhood an easy one.

To have been given this beautiful gift.

My birth as a mummy happened over a really long period of time.

But I'm here now.

I'm Mummy.

And I couldn't be happier about it.